Well, they're cute!

You know those things that you wear on your feet? Yeah, those. Well, for the past few days I have been chosing shoes for their fashion instead of their comfort. I have the smallest feet in my family: 6 1/2 to 7. And although my mom and my sister wear size 7 1/2, a half size makes a huge difference. When we go to church and I need a nice pair of heels to go with my outfit, I can practically feel my foot breaking as I try to walk up the few short steps to get in the building. That's not fun.

For the past few days I've been wearing shoes that "fit" but they hurt like the dickens. Like the ones I'm wearing right now: they are so tight on my feet that when I take them off during class, the tops of my feet are purple from the pressure, but I can't figure out why. And the back of my heel has been rubbed raw for the past three days because I keep forgetting that these shoes really kill my feet. Some people ask me, "Why do you keep wearing those shoes if they obviously hurt you?" To this I can only reply, "Well, they're cute!" This doesn't seem like a good enough excuse, but it's enough for me. The perfect shoes make me feel really good, even though I don't think to look down at other people's. Just a touch of irony for you!

Time

How come it seems as if I never have enough time? Day in and day out I race the clock, vying for those few precious moments where I am alone surrounded by only God and my own thoughts. But all too often, after being caught between homework, sports, friends, and everything else, I barely have time to collapse in my bed before it's time to do it all again. Sometimes I wish I could have that remote in Click or something to where I can pause my life, but they haven't actually invented that yet. Oh well. Maybe when I'm older I'll look back on this time and be proud of the young lady that I am. Hopefully, I'll rise out of high school one of the best, with a bright future ahead of me, and with God by my side.

Proud to be an American

"...Oh say does that star-spangled banner yet wave, o'er the land of the free and the home of the brave!" The perfect ending to the greatest national anthem. Each time I hear this song of love for our country, I imagine the generations of soldiers, families, and refugees who have made America the wonderful place that it is today, and tears blur my vision.

For more than two hundred years, men and women have fought to keep our country safe and to protect the freedoms we so often take for granted. Daily, they risk their lives to protect the stars and stripes and what they represent. See, the flag is not just an item to be saluted. It is a virtual representation of all that this country has been, is, and will continue to stand for. Freedom for all people. Freedom is more than a word, it is a lifestyle. When you look at Americans, we are allowed to gather together peacefully without having to receive government permission. We can speak up when we believe our government is making a mistake and we won't be shot dead on the spot. We can have a different color skin or religion and not be persecuted. How amazing it is to say, "I am an American!"

People who are ashamed of our country break my heart. Some refuse to stand and say the pledge or talk during the singing of "The Star-Spangled Banner." Others come right out and say, "I am ashamed to call myself an American." Sometimes, I am attempted to scream, "How dare you? How can you live here, enjoy the freedoms, and bask in the respect and admit shame of residing here? People have lost their lives and livlihoods protecting the land you despise. Why don't you go tell their families that their sacrfice wasn't good enough?" But then the thought just splits my heart into tiny pieces.

For those who don't see the importance of saying the Pledge and respecting the flag, I am grieved. Each morning, as you stand and recite the words, somedays it may seem like rote memorization, but ponder the meanings of the words. "I promise to remain loyal to all that the United States of America represents, to this nation that allows me to choose my leaders, we are one, unified nation, only surviving through the power of God, never to be divided or destroyed, with freedom and fairness to everyone." So basically, when you refuse to say the pledge, you are saying that America is nothing and you'd rather live anywhere but here. I'm sorry but that irks me. Wait, no, I'm not. The least you can do to honor the veterans around this country is stand up for about 30 seconds in the morning and pledge to everyone around you that you will not let their efforts end in vain.

SIDENOTE: In the Olympics, the team who wins the gold in any given event has the honor of hearing their national anthem played as their flag is raised. When the US wins, I'm so excited and I can't wait to hear our anthem played as our flag rises higher than any other nation. Even though I'm not the one who won the gold medal, tears drift down my cheek when I hear the sound. Maybe it's the fact that the song signifies that they didn't win the medal for themselves, but rather for the glory of the entire nation which then gives it all to the Christian God upon which this country was founded.

Tears

If eyes are the windows to the soul, then what are tears? Tears come in any moment: joyous, embarrassing, or full of sorrow. Are these drops just outward displays of the truth held captive?

I know that in any emotional moment I cry. When I find something hilarious, often I'll laugh until I can feel the tears in my eyes. Or, if I'm really happy for someone else, that their impossible was made feasible these little droplets find their way to my eyes.

Needless to say, in any sad moment, tears are on call and ready to slide down my cheeks at any given time. I remember last year, one of my friend's mother had died, and we all went to her funeral. As I looked in her casket and saw her cold, unmoving body laying there, I felt my heart breaking. I had the sinking feeling that she would never smile again, never hold her daughter close after a break up, and never be a light to all who knew her. The knowing weighed on my heart, and tears came unchecked.

Also, in an embarrassing moments, in addition to flushed cheeks, tears prick the corners of my eyes. I'm not sure why, but that always seems to happen. The other day, I got pulled over for running a stop sign (which I didn't do), and though I only received a warning, I was crying so hard I could hardly talk to the officer. That's the only downside; I get so choked up that I can hardly breathe much less talk to people.

Just for the record, I'm not depressed or anything. I was just thinking about tears and what they could mean to other people as well as me.

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button

For people like me, it's very hard to grasp a concept that isn't real. Science fiction just is not my forte. There's almost no way it can happen on this Earth in my lifetime. Now I know you can use your imagination and pretend, but that's stretching it a little far.

Now, there was this move that came out not too long ago called The Curious Case of Benjamin Buttion. Well, the storyline is that this guy ages backwards and somehow has to find his true love in the middle and learn to live with his life. I have several problems with this idea. First, how does one person age backwards? I know they explain it, but why did it pick that guy's family, what made them special? And why, as he got older, didn't anyone figure out what was wrong with him? Second, isn't it a little creepy that he finds his true love when she's 8 and he looks to be 73? I mean really.

Oh, and the thing that ticked me off was the hummingbird. Now, what strong, egotistical Russian sailor would get a tattoo of a hummingbird on his chest? Then, when he dies, a hummingbird flies out to the middle of the ocean as if it was a sign that his spirit was free. It's seriously impossible for a hummingbird to have enough energy to fly that long without a break; their wings are just flapping too many times. And if that wasn't enough, in the middle of hurricane Katrina (category like 5) a hummingbird flies to a hospital window, which just happened to be the old lady who's telling the story, and that gives her closure to let go and die. Seriously, birds are the first to sense weather changes and get out of the place. Why would there still be a hummingbird hanging around and flying through the thick of things? It's impossible and totally ruined the film for me.

Now don't go hating on me because I can't stretch my imagination that far. It's people like me who notice random details like that and solve crimes. But really, if you want me to be able to relate to things, keep them real and believable! I cant empathize with someone or a situation that could never, ever exist. I'm just saying. :)

Awkward Turtle Moment

So, we were competing in quick recall last night, and it's customary to shake hands after every match. Since this was the final one of the night, we began to clean up and reorganize the room we had used. As I was collecting the pencils I noticed there was one boy I forgot to shake hands with. So, like any other nice person, I walked over, shook hands, and said, "Good game." He held onto my hand a second longer than normal. Then, just as he let go, he blurts, "Hey, you want my number?"

And there I stood, like a deer in headlights, "Uhh.....ehm....ehhh...sure?" So then he asks to put his number in my phone and looks at it for a second and, "How do you use this phone?" Now that would've made since if I had one of those complicated iPhones or something, but I have one with the numbers in plain sight. Just a little strange in my opinion, maybe it was his redneck-ness that led him to that, I'm not sure.

It doesn't help the whole academic team is guys, minus the few girls who had already left. Once the guy left the room, they all stormed around me and were like "Oh my gosh Kiersten, do you want my number?" and then turning away from laughing so hard. After being embarrassed for the next ten minutes, I happened to make the off-hand remark that all of the guys on our team already had my number, and one of the coaches responded, "Oh, so it that how it is?" More embarrassment.

Finally, it's time to go, but what do you know? The guy is STILL THERE. So while still trying to avoid him, I ask one of the guys to walk me out so he won't talk to me. So I think I'm in the clear. But, when I come to school the next day, I learn that someone had told the guy that I was already taken by one of the guys on the team so I couldn't go out with him! I didn't know whether to hug him or to hit him because I really didn't want to talk to the new redneck guy, but the guys on the team are friends, and yea. Just awkward turtle moments all around! Red cheeks for me, hearty laughs for everyone else!

Laughter (dont make fun of the length)

"A family that laughs together stays together."

Wow, there could never be a quote better suited for me than this one. For as long as I can remember, I've laughed at anything and everything. In elementary school, I was known as Giggle Box. I don't know why, but I just love laughing, even if I'm laughing at something stupid. Maybe it's because people are so much more fun to be around when they're happy and smiling and they feel better when you laugh at their (sometimes corny) jokes. But seriously, I've lost too many staring contests because I've broken into spurts of laughter. It's not that everything's a joke, but I prefer to find pleasure in the simple things in life, expound upon them, and it just makes me happy so it overflows into a laugh.

Now, is it just me or do people have different facial expressions when they laugh? Like, I can tell in pictures which ones I'm truly laughing in because of my eyes. When I'm laughing hysterically, my eyes "disappear" and my smile spread over my entire face. If I'm just smiling, you can actually see my eyes and my smile is normal size. (Left-picture smile/Right-actually laughing)

I think laughter is the glue of relationships. When you laugh you're giving that person your approval and keeping things light and fun and not always serious. Without laughter, the world would be dark and foreboding and thats just not how I want to live. There are so many things I have to be thankful for and it makes me happy. Knowing that Jesus is my savior and that He helps me through every day and every situation is enough to make me want to laugh and dance every day.

Another thing about laughter is that you have to be able to laugh at yourself. Even though it's one of the hardest things to learn, it makes life a whole lot easier. For instance, I was playing volleyball at Daviess County the other night and this really funny but embarrassing thing happened to me. I was running to the baseline to pass a ball with my hands over my head, but just as I'm about to hit it, the entire team is yelling "OUT!" So, I instantly pulled my arms back down and ducked so the ball wouldn't hit my head. There was only one problem: the momentum I had running back added with suddenly ducking caused me to lose my footing and I fell. Well, fell may not be the right word, more like, flopped I guess. Anyways, as I'm getting up, the ENTIRE GYM is laughing at me, and for a second I almost started crying. But, then I thought, "Wow, that probably looked pretty hilarious," and just like that, I started laughing and almost fell again from laughing so hard. Now, that's going to be a funny memory for weeks to come instead of becoming an "awkward turtle" moment.

SIDENOTE: When I say I've been laughing for as long as I can remember, it's actually longer: since I was born. Most of my friends know that I'm the third and middle child in my family with an older brother and sister, but there's a story that only a few people know. After my mom had Ethan, it appeared that she had the "perfect" American family: a husband, two children, and a dog. Everyone she knew pressured her into thinking that since she already had a boy and a girl, that there wasn't a need for any more kids. Soon after, she found out that she's pregnant with me. Throughout the entire pregnacy, my mom cried and cried because she didn't know what was going to happen or if she could handle three kids under the age of five. But anyways, once I was born, mom said I smiled and laughed all the time, as if that was God's way of telling her that she had nothing to worry about. Kinda neat. :)

I bet you go to church camp for God

Actually, yes I do. Church camp is one of the few places that I can actually be myself. In the craziness of competition or praying at the alters, I always enjoy myself so much that I'm almost depressed when it's time to go home on Friday. Every year this is a most looked forward to event in the whole youth group. We spend 360 days planning pranks we'll pull on our friends, reminescing about last year, and trying to keep in touch with the people we met and became friends with. It is, without a doubt, one of the greatest places on Earth.

Beginning on Monday, this camp takes complete strangers and puts them on teams competing for first place: a blue ribbon!Even though the reward seems small, it's surprising how much everyone bands together to try to win. With crazy team competition and sports games, it's not surprising that when you come home, you many have a few tshirts ruined with mud or baby food. The people there are the nicest you could ever hope to meet in your life. Sure, no one is perfect and sometimes there is a little bit of drama when we get caught up in the moment, but overall, everyone tries to be nice and let Jesus live through them. I have so many close friends from this camp that I've known for almost ten years (wow, I didn't realize I was that old). We keep in touch even though we're from different cities and I love them almost as much as my own family.

But what's better than the games, competition, and friends, is the fact that every night God is there in a most powerful way. Counselors have been praying all day that at night, when all else fades away, the one true thing will remain: that everyone is here to have an encounter with the Lord of all the earth. No matter what's going wrong in your life, He's there to wrap His arms around you and make you feel whole again. He doesn't care how many mistakes you've made or anything. As long as you're willing to give your life to Him and repent of your sins, He will take all of your problems and bad things and give you peace in return. That has to be one of the greatest feelings in the world: knowing that even though you're broken and bruised, someone still loves you and wants to help.

Complaining

Most days, I walk into school and say, "Oh my gosh it is absolutely freezing in here. I stayed up all last night trying to work on all that homework," and it's true. Our school does not know how to keep the right temperature indoors without running up the AC bill, and with all my hard classes on one day, it's no surprise I get a lot of homework. That's not the problem. The problem is the response my friends give me, "Gosh, can you find something else to complain about?" I don't understand. I have to sit there during every class and lunch and listen to their sob story while offering kind words of sympathy, but when I'm not happy that I forgot a jacket and I fell asleep reading that last chapter in AP US history, no one has the time to sympathize with me?

I guess I'm just being selfish and I probably shouldn't complain as often as I do. But, I may not even be in a bad mood when I say it, or even really complaining. All I mean to do is state a fact that doesn't make me happy. But the instant someone says a word about complaining, my whole countenance drops, and my day is ruined.

I don't know if you've ever had one of those days, weeks, or years where everything seems to be going wrong. But if you do, I'll be here to sympathize and I won't tell you you complain too often ;)

People who live in glass houses, should not throw stones

I've heard this quote for as long as I can remember, and it holds true in many aspects of life. Good news: I try not to throw stones and hurt people, and I feel like a better person. Bad news: not everyone has reached the same conclusion. They still throw stones and don't care how much it will hurt the people around them.

Recently, I went on a trip with some teammates and we had some interesting conversations. But in the midst of the hilarious anecdotes, one girl began to make fun of someone she saw at a football game and went to school with. "She's ugly, anorexic, and her personality makes her uglier, and she thinks that guys like her, but they only use her,"and in that one sneering comment, they completely demoralized a poor girl that most of the team had only known by name. After hearing this sad description, my heart hurt for her and I began to wonder about the unknown details of her life. Then, a realization hit me, it's comments from girls like these who drive innocent girls to do the unthinkable. Day after day, the digs, the jabs and the snotty looks slowly but surely drive them to the brink of their confidence: to a place where they're not good enough, not pretty or smart enough, and it's heartrending. Ever since that day, I've prayed for a watch over my lips that I might not accidentally hurt someone in the same way they hurt that girl.

On a lighter note, this quote has quite a funny memory attached to it. I'm on the Academic Team and have been for about seven years. A couple of years ago I went to my old school to help with the newcomers. One of the questions in the match was to complete the quote, "People in glass houses shouldn't..." and those four children were clueless. They'd apparently never heard it and were trying to think of a logical answer. Finally after ten seconds of hushed whispers, the captain squeaked, "take showers?". Enough said :)